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An Ethnic Engagement Ceremony with a Happy Ending
July 15, 2007
An Ethnic Engagement Ceremony with a Happy Ending: Creole
Engagement In Sierra Leone
Before the Engagement
Adecule is getting on to 30 years and has finally decided
to settle down. He has found the woman of his dreams.
Adecule wants to ask Rosemond to marry him. He has already
emptied his savings to buy a diamond engagement ring. After
introducing Rosemond to his parents, Adecule later declared
his intentions to his mom and dad. His mummy was thrilled
and gave him a list of items they will need for the
engagement ceremony. They fixed the engagement date for
next month and the wedding will be another 4 months from
the engagemment date.
Things needed for the engagement ceremony and their
symbolic meaning
1. Large white calabash (a lightweight bowl carved out
from a special gourd) with a cover to put all the listed
items.
2. White piece of lace material to cover calabash and blue
ribbon to tie neatly around the calabash
3. Engagement bible - The Creoles are an ethnic group with
strong Christian values. The idea is that the bible
symbolizes God, who will keep watch whilst the couple is
apart from each other
4. The exquisite engagement ring to stop any other
interested individual from dating Rosemond.
5. White and Red kolanuts (a special nut often used as
refreshement because of its high caffeine content) -White
and Red signifies Love and Peace.
6. Sugar (few cubes or teaspoon). Symbolizes Sweet Home -
Hoping for plenty of days of sunshine
7. Attaray (dried hot pepper) Symbolizes Hard Times Rainy
Days which is all part of life.
8. Salt symbolizing power, an important aspect to be used
sparingly, this vital ingredient every one knows makes food
tasty
9. Needle and Thread very important items that should be
in every home to mend socks and clothes
10. Black Soap (made locally with natural oils and fat)
This symbolizes cleaniness. A clean home is an important
requisite for a happy marriage.
11. The Money you can afford. To buy the bride's wedding
outfit for the wedding.
12. Pins. This stops the Bride from using the expression
"My husband never gave me a pin in my lifetime"
The day of the Engagement
It was around 7.00 PM and some elderly family members,
friends, and neighbors have arrived at Adecule's home.
About 10 people were already selected and were in the
dining room packing items from the list above into the
calabash bowl.
Pa Coker an eloquent speaker is appointed
and will be in charge of the group. They will take the
message to Rosemond's family. The group has also asked
Yatunde a young maid of about age 13 years to carry the
calabash on her head. Yatunde was dressed in white. The
white dress is a symbol of purity.
Before the group left to go to Rosemond's (the bride to be)
house they all came together and offered some prayers.
Neither Adecule (the groom to be) nor his parents, will go
with the group. They will have to stay at home and await
news from the entourage. They were all tense,eagerly
waiting for the news whether the 'parents of the bride to
be' will accept the engagement proposal.
At the House of the Bride Rejection Greeted the Group
The group now arrives at the Rosemond's house but found
the door closed. Pa Coker, the leader and spokesman knocks
at the door politely, once, twice, thrice. It was after the
fourth time before they heard a response from within. The
tone appeared unfriendly "who is knocking on my door at
this time of the night when I am already in bed?" This is
surprising because Rosemond's family have been notified
earlier about the time and purpose of this visit.
According to the Creole tradition, this is done purposely
to let the groom's entourage know they are not going to get
their daughter easily. The point is being made that "easily
got, lightly valued". Hopefully, this message will get back
to the groom.
Rosemond's parents have appointed their own spokesman Mamy
Taiwo. Mamy Taiwo has been asking the visiting party about
their mission.
The whole episode is being portrayed in deep figurative
language. Pa Coker (the groom's spokesperson) explains that
he was merely taking a walk but could not resist the sight.
He has seen a garden full of roses. The bride's speaker
Mamy Taiwo replied "The roses in my garden belong to me and
not you."
Pa coker went on to say that "yes, I know, but I
like one of them." Mamy Taiwo told Pa Coker that there is
no way he is going to have it. But Pa Coker was determined
and could not take no for an answer. He pleaded, promising
to take good care of this rose. Pa Coker patiently explains
that this meant a lot to him. His one wish in the world is
for them to let him have this particular beautiful flower.
This went on for some time before the door was finally
opened.
Parade of Roses before the Bridegroom's Group
Inside the house were several well dressed ladies
representing the roses in the garden. About six ladies
came one at a time and the entourage was ask to identify
the rose Pa Coker has been talking about. The parade begins
with the first lady strolling around, blushing and smiling.
Mamy Taiwo asked is this the one? Pa Coker again was quick
to compliment "we admire her, but she is not the one we are
interested in. No sooner first lady left a second lady
appeared and walks into the room. Again Pa Coker'
replied with adimiration but still insist this is not the
particular rose he has seen.
After all six ladies have been presented, Rosemond made a
grand entry into the room. Now this brought shouts of joy
and laughter as the whole group positively indentified
Rosemond as the rose they were looking for. Pa Coker went
on to hug and kiss the Rosemond (the bride to be) saying
this is our Bride. We have brought a gift for you. Pa Coker
asked Yatunde the maid who had accompanied them to hand
over the calabash to Rosamond's parents.This is a sign of
respect to Rosemond's parents for raising Rosemond to
become what she is today.
Acceptance of the Engagement Proposal and Setting a Wedding
Date
Mamy Taiwo the bride's spokesperson welcomed the group,
thanked them for coming and asked someone to say a few
words of prayers. Rosemond's family proceeded to open the
calabash, examine its contents then retreated for
consultation amongst themselves.
Finally the eldest member who looks like Rosemond's dad
came back and said they have accepted the proposal but do
have some questions. "How long is the engagement going to
be? Pa Coker told them 4 months. Rosemond's dad took out
the engagement ring and asked the priest Pa Solomon who has
been there to bless the ring. The priest after the prayers
places the engagement ring on the Rosemond's left second
finger. He declares "from now on Rosemond is engaged to
Adecule."
Rosemond goes around and shows the ring on her finger to
all who are present. All the guests and Pa coker and his
party were entertained with specially prepared food, drinks
and music. Rosemond's family returns the calabash with some
of their gift in return for the kindness.
After a short period of entertainment Pa Coker and his
entourage left, saying good bye. On their way back to
Adecule's house they sang happily. "Yawo Mammie don answer
yes oh, Yawo Daddy don answer yes oh". Which translates
"The mother and father of the bride has consented to the
engagement". The party enters Adecule's home with the song
as a way of letting Adecule and his family in on the good
news. The engagement proposal has been accepted.
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