What Happens to Love After the Wedding?
7 Nov 2007
What Happens to Love After the Wedding?
Don’t let love evaporate after a few months or years after having found your partner.
Falling in Love
So you met this wonderful person. And fell in love. You get sucked into the “in love” temporary emotional high. At this early stage your new found love is the greatest person you have ever known. Life is so wonderful with your new found partner who can do no wrong.
”In love phase” can be described as the period when you are in a state of euphoria, you are emotionally obsessed with each other, from dawn to dusk your new found partner's image is on your mind. You spend more time together holding hands and kissing. Nothing could come between you two. "In love” is the most wonderful thing experienced.
When you are "in love" you lose interest in other pursuits, you have difficulty to study, work, or stay focus on anything else. All you want to do is make your new lover happy. You are willing to give up anything.
Gary Chapman in “The five Love Languages” mentions how falling in love is not an act of will or conscious choice. Falling in love is not real love. You have lost it. In love takes away almost all your self control and leaves you with very little discipline. When you are "In love" you are not genuinely interested in helping your lover grow as a person.
At this stage your partner is almost an idol. Your brain has been disengaged; you are no longer using your ability to reason. You are on a high and have become a drunk who does things later he could not believe.
Does Love last forever?
Do not think this phase can go on forever. Romantic obsession or “in love” phase eventually phases out. Average life span for in love phase is two years according to psychologist Dr. Dorothy Tennov.
Then we start to see clearly again and land back on the shores of reality. It is as if you wake up and start to notice your partner's faults. You begin to see that she has large feet, or eats too much. You start to see that she leaves her shoes in the living room, or does not like to cook.
Maybe you like the bathroom sinks to be clean and kept dry after use, but this does not happen when your partner is around. Plainly put, difference in opinions and ways suddenly becomes visible.
Reality kicks in after the "in love" phase changes. You become your old self again. Now you start to notice that you want blue and she prefers pink. You lover is no longer an idol. What do you do when the lights get turned on again? Should you ask for the wedding and engagement ring?
Brownsack
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