How to Choose a Diamond Engagement Ring She’ll Love: Six Tips

It’s increasingly common for men to bypass the question of choosing the right diamond engagement ring by letting their fiancées pick out their own rings. And while this may remove the “what if she doesn’t like it?” jitters for you, it also removes some of the romance—not to mention the fun of surprising her.

 

The truth is that yes, you are taking a risk by picking out her ring yourself. But as with most risks, there’s a bigger payoff if you get it right. Surprise her with the perfect ring, and she’ll be thrilled that you know her so well. And every time she looks at your unique diamond engagement ring on her finger, she’ll smile and remember what a wonderful surprise it was.

 

If you want to play it safe and let her choose the ring, she’s sure to love it. But choose it for her yourself, and she’ll be twice as happy—if you get it right. Here are six tips for making sure you do.

 

Notice what she wears. Most women have very definite preferences when it comes to jewelry. If you pay attention, they’re easy to spot. Look at the jewelry she wears all the time—not just the things she wears occasionally. Is it big and flashy? Ornate and antique? Sleek and modern? Does she like to wear unique or traditional pieces? Bold or delicate?

 

Many women have a strong preference for one metal over another. Some never wear yellow gold, while some are allergic to silver. Sneak into her bedroom and take a look in her jewelry box—you could even steal a ring so that the jeweler can size your engagement ring, if you’re careful.

Know her lifestyle. Some women crave that big rock in a prong setting. But if she’s active and does a lot with her hands, she might prefer a diamond that doesn’t protrude. Is she the type who can handle a more high-maintenance engagement ring, or would it slow her down?

 

Again, it can help to look at the type of jewelry she already wears for clues. If she typically wears ornate jewelry that can get snagged on clothes—and doesn’t seem to mind—then she will probably be fine with a bigger gem.

Keep your eyes and ears open. Your beloved may already be telling you the type of ring she wants. So pay attention. Does she ever mention a celebrity’s engagement ring when she watches television or reads a magazine? Does she talk about the rings her friends wear when she gets engaged? Does she say anything about engagement rings when a De Beers commercial comes on? 

 

She may be deliberately dropping clues—leaving a bridal magazine open on the coffee table to a picture of a ring she loves is a big, obvious one. But even if she isn’t doing it on purpose, you can still learn a lot by what she says in passing about engagement rings.

What looks best on her? All engagement ring designs suit some fingers better than others. If she has long, tapered fingers, she can get away with thicker bands and larger stones—but a delicate round brilliant might look smaller than it is. Elongated designs such as marquise, emerald cut, and baguette make short fingers look longer, but overwhelm a small, delicate hand. If she has small hands, a smaller stone might suit her better.

Ask her friends and family. If she has a best friend, sister, cousin or mom who knows her well and can keep a secret, she may be a wellspring of useful advice. Women talk about their ring likes and dislikes, so a close friend or family member is likely to know a lot about what will make your girlfriend happy. You may even want to ask a helpful friend or family member to go shopping with you.

Take her shopping. When all else fails, take your girlfriend shopping. No, this doesn’t mean you have to ruin the surprise. It does mean that you should accompany her to the mall, and steer her toward a few jewelry stores. Try to be subtle, but pay attention to rings she looks at. If she says something about her preferences, remember it.

 

It’s definitely possible to pick out a ring with no feedback from her—and still find one she’ll love. It requires some extra work and attention on your part, and it also involves a bit of risk. But if you do it right, you’ll give her a gift she’ll treasure for the rest of her life.