How Much Should You Spend?

When it comes to buying an engagement ring, many guys cringe at the price tag. It can seem wasteful and extravagant to spend two or three months’ salary on a piece of jewelry—but naturally, you want her to love the ring. The amount you spend on an engagement ring can be a delicate issue. 

 

So, should you look for a discount engagement ring, or opt for extravagance? That answer depends on your situation and your future fiancée’s preferences. Here, we’ll weigh your options and help you decide for yourself whether cheap diamond rings are better or worse than the pricier option.

 

 

A guy is often put in a difficult position when it comes to buying an engagement ring. If you’re too cheap, you could hurt her feelings. But diamonds can be expensive, and an extravagant ring may be beyond your means. 

 

No matter what your money situation is, there are plenty of reasons why you shouldn’t have to strain your finances to buy a ring. Here are a few of the more compelling ones.

 

Because you can’t afford it. This is crucial: if you’re struggling to meet your monthly obligations, you definitely can’t afford to drop a lot of money on a ring. Your fiancée should be aware of your financial situation. She shouldn’t expect you to spend more than you can afford. The important thing, after all, is your feelings for her—not the amount of money you spent on the ring.

 

If you have financial issues that prevent you from buying a traditional engagement ring, it may be a good idea to talk it over with your fiancée. She may not want an expensive engagement ring. She may also be happy to accept a cheap-but-meaningful ring with the expectation that you will buy her an upgrade once your financial situation has improved.

Because there may be something else you both want more. An engagement ring can cost thousands of dollars. It’s a beautiful gesture, but both of you might prefer to see that money spent elsewhere: on the wedding, on a honeymoon, or on a down payment for your first house together, for example.

 

It helps to know your fiancée’s priorities before making this decision. If she has her heart set on a romantic honeymoon or a dream house, she may be amenable to sacrificing a more expensive ring for the sake of her goal.

Because the “two months’ salary” guideline was invented by De Beers. When you ask the question of how much you’re expected to spend on a ring, this is what you’re most often told—lately, it’s been inching up to three months’ salary. This is possible for some and not for others, but there’s no way you should feel guilty about choosing not to spend this much.

 

The truth is that this guideline was invented by the diamond industry. It’s not an ancient and unassailable tradition. If you can’t or don’t want to spend this much, don’t feel you have to just because of the “two months’ salary” rule.

 

However, there are some equally important reasons why you shouldn’t simply decide to skimp on the ring. Most women do have certain expectations for their engagement rings.   This can strike men as materialistic and shallow, but it often has little to do with materialism.

 

Because a substandard ring puts her in an awkward position. No matter how unconcerned she is with material things, she will have to live with the ring you give her. And if you obviously didn’t spend much on the ring, this could be very uncomfortable for her.

 

When a woman gets engaged, the first thing everyone says is “let’s see the ring!” She’ll have to pull it out and show it to her friends, family, and co-workers. If it’s obviously a discount ring, her peers will definitely question your commitment to her—and she’ll know what they’re thinking, even if they don’t say it. She may be frequently put in a position where she has to smile tensely and say, “oh, I really didn’t care about the engagement ring anyway.” Unless this is the honest truth, this can be difficult—even painful—for her.

Because the beautiful engagement ring is every little girl’s fantasy. Bear in mind that most women have been dreaming about the moment when their true love proposes to them since they were very young, and the ring is an important part of that fantasy. 

 

Hopefully, this is the only time in your girlfriend’s life when a man will ask her to be his wife. And if she doesn’t like the ring, the moment can be a huge letdown—the anticlimactic end to a dream that she’s had for years. You shouldn’t have to spend more than you can afford, but you also shouldn’t take your girlfriend’s desire for a nice ring too lightly. For many women, it’s the culmination of a lifetime of romantic dreams.

Because, like it or not, your ring says something about your commitment. In ancient and medieval times, an engagement ring was a testament to a man’s ability to support a wife and family. Times have changed, but the engagement ring still makes a statement about your feelings and commitment to your future bride.

 

An engagement ring is a commitment in itself. It says that you are invested enough in your relationship to spend a significant amount of money on something for her. Even if you don’t see it that way, she might—especially if she’s used to seeing you spend large amounts of money on other items for yourself. 

 

It’s understandable for men to believe that if their girlfriends love them, they won’t care how much the ring cost. But if she does care, it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s materialistic. The truth is that how much you should spend on an engagement ring depends on her expectations as well as your budget. The “right” amount for you often means striking the right balance between these two.